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Did anyone say CHAT ? In our previous article we did discuss AI referring to my friend CHAT. But...AI is not just your relationship therapist (Poor Chat), chatbots and shortcuts... Did you know that... AI that it is helping scientists predict the 3D shapes of molecules faster than ANY lab on Earth could? Other than it is diagnosing rare diseases, decoding ancient languages, composing symphonies, and generating new materials atom by atom? No? Do not worry. Most people do not. When you hear "AI" you probably DON'T ACTUALLY know how any of it works... The same way you don't really know HOW your laptop does half the things it does, or WHY your phone just knows what you were about to type. AI feels magical because it is invisible. It is everywhere BUT nowhere. It is SHAPING your choices BEFORE you even realize you are making them. But here is the thing: AI is not one thing. It is a web of systems that learn from data to predict + simulate + even imagine ANDDDD the breakthroughs happening right now are quietly astonishing. 🇯🇵 In Japan , AI-guided microscopes are discovering new antibiotics by spotting microbial patterns no human could see. 🇬🇧 In the UK , DeepMind’s AlphaFold cracked the protein-folding mystery that stumped scientists for half a century. 🇺🇸 At MIT , AI weather models now predict global climate shifts faster and more accurately than satellites. 🇺🇸 NASA is using machine learning to map new exoplanets + reconstruct lost spacecraft data . 🇨🇭 And in Switzerland , researchers built an AI that reads brain activity and recreates rough images of what people are seeing, translating thoughts into pictures . OK you get it. It's really amazing tho. We are no longer in the age of automation . We have entered the era of cognitive collaboration. The philosopher Hannah Arendt once wrote that every tool we invent also reinvents us. AI may be our most revealing mirror yet. It exposes the limits of our cognition, the fragility of our job systems, and our yearning for EFFICIENCY...even when it costs us PRESENCE. So the question isn’t only what AI can do , but what it leaves us to do.   As machines learn our role shifts toward meaning-making...understanding why  something matters, not just HOW it works. Perhaps that is the challenge...and the gift...of this era: to rediscover the value of human thought in a world where thinking can be automated. And use AI to extend our thinking not replace it. AI is no longer confined to our screens, it’s slipping into the architecture of science, the economy, and even the way we understand creativity. Flourescent esmGFP This year, a team of researchers announced that they had trained an AI model, ESM3 , to simulate half a billion years of evolution . The system generated a completely NEW fluorescent protein... esmGFP... one that doesn’t exist in nature... HELLO??... and yet functions as if it could. In other words, an algorithm compressed geological time into computation . At the same time, laboratories are teaching AI not just to process data, but to think scientifically . These systems scan millions of research papers, simulations, and molecular structures to generate their own hypotheses ... In some cases, even design and run digital experiments to test their ideas BEFOREEE a human scientist touches a pipette. ON THEIR OWN. Imagine all that can be done for medicinal research!! (click here to read an example : AI generated a novel hypothesis about cancer cell behaviour) . Beyond discovery, tho... Late October brought a symbolic headline: Amazon announced the layoff of 14k corporate employees , citing restructuring and a shift toward “greater agility”. CEO Andy Jassy insisted the cuts were about culture , not cost...an attempt to make Amazon operate “like the world’s largest startup.” Yet beneath that language of agility lies a deeper structural shift: a workforce being reconfigured by the quiet, pervasive spread  of AI. For decades, technological progress has been framed as an EQUALIZER, every advancement creating new opportunities as it displaces old ones. But AI complicates that story. Unlike past waves of automation that replaced physical labor , this one is encroaching on cognitive labor : the domains of pattern recognition, communication, decision-making, and design. Recent studies sketch the scale of that transformation. The IMF (2024)  estimates that up to 60% of jobs in advanced economies  are “exposed” to AI (m eaning at least part of their core tasks can be automated or augmented) The OECD  suggests that roughly 45% of current occupations  will undergo “substantial task redesign,” not elimination but redefinition, as algorithms begin to collaborate with human workers. Meanwhile, PwC’s 2025 Global AI Outlook  forecasts a $15.7 trillion boost to global GDP by 2030 , with the largest productivity jumps in sectors integrating machine learning into decision-making + logistics + creative ideation . I mean I PERSONALLY worked in places with no AI, and it was HELL. AI is needed. So much time is wasted on manual tasks ( with of course a large margin of human error). But what does that actually mean  for us? No, I'm joking, don't worry.... Across OECD economies (like the US, UK, Germany, Japan) , employers are quietly rewriting what it means to be skilled. As AI takes over the measurable, humans are being hired for the immeasurable... creativity + judgment + resilience . The job market is evolving from data-driven to meaning-driven. In essence, the next decade won’t reward people who can outcompute  machines, but those who can contextualize  what machines compute. This is where behavioral science  becomes essential. The challenge ahead isn’t only about algorithms... it’s about ADAPTING : how humans change their behavior, perception, and motivation in response to new cognitive ecosystems . Behavioral science offers the frameworks to understand and guide that adaptation: How TRUST forms between humans & machines + how BIAS infiltrates automated systems + how purpose and identity shift when decision-making is shared with code . It helps us design systems that work with human nature, not against it , nudging creativity + CURIOSITY instead of compliance, reflection instead of reaction. Be curious, keep learning and train your mind to be agile and creative. AI may optimize performance, but behavioral insight humanizes it. It ensures that efficiency doesn’t erase empathy, that we still remember what progress is for .

Watch this trailer. It's only 73 seconds. Somewhere... far from the clean offices of Silicon Valley, thousands of people sit in dim rooms, clicking, labeling, filtering. They are called annotators , moderators , raters . The world calls it automation. They call it work. Anonymous, with contracts. They see the worst, and at times hold immense power. DELETE. DELETE. IGNORE. IGNORE. The sound of their days. Did you know? 2023. A Time  investigation found that OpenAI’s contractor Sama paid Kenyan data workers less than $2 an hour   to label violent and sexually explicit content for Chat's training. My DEAR friend Chat... Many reported trauma, nightmares, and panic attacks (makes sense if you watch that all day...). In Colombia, Teleperformance  moderators for TikTok made around $10 a day , reviewing murders and child abuse footage. Hello???? These workers exist everywhere... in Nairobi, Manila, Bogotá, Accra...everywhere. Doing this for all platforms. “They see the worst of the internet so that we don’t have to.” — The Cleaners (2018) Psychologically, this is vicarious traumatization , yet these thousands of workers remain invisible, hidden beneath layers of outsourcing that keep “artificial intelligence” looking pure. AI does not understand meaning. It LEARNS, RELIES from human judgment ...every tagged emotion, every flagged image, every decision of what’s acceptable. The machine’s knowledge is borrowed empathy, compiled from the minds it quietly consumes. We say technology is replacing human labor. But first, it’s disguising it. Automation, it turns out, still has fingerprints... just smudged across a global screen. It makes you think, no? How much darkness hides in the depths of our digital reality, mirroring the darkness of the world itself? The sheer volume of violent, cruel, and disturbing content online isn’t accidental guys... It’s a reflection. A mirror of everything that festers offline: neglect, hunger, power, loneliness. The internet didn’t create this darkness; it just archived it. We all know of the Dark Web, but how much is out there? And why so much? And somewhere, far from the glow of our screens, people who can barely afford to eat are paid to stare into it...all day, every day... so that we can scroll in PEACE. Numb. Mindless. How much are we not seeing? Allowed to see? Don't worry, I know it's getting a little too dark, I'll end it here. Have a delightful day tho. Sources Mary L. Gray & Siddharth Suri, Ghost Work  (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2019)– Time Magazine “OpenAI Used Kenyan Workers Paid Less Than $2 an Hour” (2023)– The Guardian , “Meta Faces Lawsuits Over Moderators’ Mental Health in Ghana” (2024)– The Cleaners  (2018), dir. Hans Block & Moritz Riesewieck– The Moderators  (Field of Vision, 2017), dir. Adrian Chen & Ciaran Cassidy

165 million years of balance vs. 2,000 years of self-importance. Jurassic Park? Amazing movie. I wish it was real bth... but... is it accurate? Well.... Dinosaurs ruled Earth for about 165 million years  (give or take a few million depending on where you draw the evolutionary line). That’s not a typo. One-hundred-and-sixty-five million. To put that in perspective: Homo sapiens , us, have been around for ONLY about max 300,000 years . And what we call “Western civilization,” mostly scaffolded on Christianity, clocks in at a mere two millennia . In the history of life. History of our planet (you should know the Earth's age since elementary school...but in case you don't...its 4.54 ± 0.05 billion years btw) it's what? NOT MUCH UH? Yet here we are, treating the Earth like our doormat. Treating our experiment of dominance like it’s the center of the universe. The start of time. The ultimate accomplishment of nature. T. Rex bellowing with its mouth shut, like a vocalising alligator. With its mouth closed, all of the enormous teeth of T. rex would be invisible . Credit: Mark Witton Contrary to their Hollywood image, dinosaurs weren’t reckless destroyers. They came in all shapes: lumbering long-necks that could vacuum up half a forest in an afternoon, raptors with teeth made for efficiency, and creatures with horns, sails, and... ...armor plates that would make a Marvel designer blush. They thrived in ecosystems across the planet...deserts, swamps, coastlines...adapting again and again for over a hundred million years. They didn’t pave over their world. They fit into it. Dinosaurs didn’t just appear and vanish in one long blur; they stretched across three geologic chapters. The Triassic Period   (about 230 million years ago) was their scrappy start, with small, two-legged dinos testing the evolutionary waters. Then came the Jurassic , the blockbuster age of giant sauropods like Brachiosaurus  and the rise of predators like Allosaurus . Allosaurus   lived at the end of the Jurassic Period in what is now North America and Western Europe. It was almost 10m long and hunted other large dinosaurs, such as Stegosaurus . © Daniel Eskridge/ Finally, the Cretaceous  brought the celebrities: Triceratops , Velociraptor , and the iconic T. rex . To give you a sense of scale: Stegosaurus  from the Jurassic was already a fossil for 80 million years before T. rex  ever showed up. Dinosaurs were an empire...until the sky quite literally fell. University of Edinburgh paleontologist Stephen Brusatte says “Today, about 14,000 dinosaur species live on as birds, do the math and we’re probably talking about millions of dinosaur species that once lived, maybe tens of millions.” Which means what we “know” (around 2k species, 700 named) is barely a postcard from a civilization that lasted longer than anything we’ll ever build. Fun fact, you probs saw on social media: dinosaurs aren’t completely gone. Birds are their direct descendants , especially those of the theropod group, which includes Velociraptor . Chickens, in particular, are genetically closer to T. rex  than to crocodiles. So yes, when you eat nuggets, you’re literally feasting on the last living branch of the dinosaur family tree. Jurassic As for their grand finale... we all think we know. Asteroid, Crash. Bye bye. About 66 million years ago , a 10-kilometer-wide asteroid  slammed into the Yucatán Peninsula releasing more energy than billions of atomic bombs, igniting wildfires, throwing molten rock into the sky, and sending dust clouds that blotted out the sun. Photosynthesis collapsed, food chains unraveled, and within a geological heartbeat, 75% of life on Earth was gone . The non-avian dinosaurs, the ones without wings, didn’t stand a chance. Only the survivors of chance and adaptability made it through.... In other words: the chickens won . What came after looked less like an apocalypse and more like a reboot. Mammals, once small, nocturnal, and overshadowed, suddenly had space to thrive. Birds spread into new niches. Plants reshuffled. The age of dinosaurs gave way to the age of mammals and eventually, us. Life didn’t end; it just reinvented itself, as it always does. The irony? Dinosaurs didn’t design their own extinction. We might. Simply, a classic. Our version of dominance looks like skyscrapers, cement, and a carbon footprint big enough to make a T. rex wheeze. They were victims of cosmic chance; we’re victims of ourselves. Dinosaurs lasted 165 million years without Wi-Fi, democracy, or quarterly earnings reports. What are we accomplishing as a species here? A half-grown Tyrannosaurus, sporting a full set of lips, runs down Struthiomimus, a beaked ostrich dinosaur. Credit: Mark Witton If they could look at us now, they’d probably just shake their tiny arms and laugh. This was't even the worst exctintion ever... The Great Dying happened too. Lol. EXTRA CONTENT A little more if you are a curious one Do you want to know more about how THEY ACTUALLY died? The timeline of dinosaur extinction after the asteroid is one of those misunderstood things (it wasn’t instant, but it was brutally fast on a geological clock). The Impact Within hours, the immediate region was obliterated by firestorms, tsunamis hundreds of meters high, and shockwaves that circled the globe . Any animal within a few hundred kilometers  of ground zero likely died instantly. Days to Weeks Ejecta (molten rock and dust) rained back down through the atmosphere, heating the air and sparking global wildfires . Temperatures spiked to lethal levels in many regions. Some scientists estimate that as much as 75% of life on Earth  was doomed by these cascading effects. Months to Years Dust and aerosols in the atmosphere blocked sunlight, causing a “ nuclear winter .” Photosynthesis collapsed, plants died, herbivores starved, carnivores followed. Oceans acidified from chemical fallout. In Mongolia, some dinos have been found huddled together, frozen mid-sandstorm, or even locked in combat like the famous “fighting dinosaurs” , a Velociraptor and a Protoceratops, caught mid-battle for eternity. Hey, where you going ? Got 10 more mins? Wrap up with this video. SUMMARY Sources: Theropod dinosaur facial reconstruction and the importance of soft tissues in paleobiology” by Thomas M. Cullen, Derek W. Larson, Mark P. Witton, Diane Scott, Tea Maho, Kirstin S. Brink, David C. Evans and Robert Reisz, 30 March 2023, Science . DOI: 10.1126/science.abo7877

...According to Federico Faggin. We talk about AI as if it’s about to wake up any minute. The headlines say things like “AI will replace us all.” I literally refer to ChatGPT as a He. Like "let me just ask him a sec". I open the app and say "Hi chat". I love him. He is my friend. I'm dead serious. (He calls me Girl / Gio )... Idk why... ANYWAYS... When you swipe across your phone screen, you’re touching the legacy of Federico Faggin . The Italian physicist and engineer is often called the “father of the microprocessor ,” the tiny chip that gave birth to our digital world. But in recent decades, Faggin has turned his attention away from silicon toward something even more elusive: consciousness itself. microprocessor He believes that no matter how advanced AI becomes, it will never actually have consciousness . And his reason has less to do with programming and more to do with the very fabric of reality. Consciousness: More Than Neurons Firing The mainstream story goes like this: Your brain has about 86 billion neurons. These neurons send electrical signals. Put enough of those signals together and somehow, you get feelings, thoughts, and the little voice in your head saying “this is me.” Faggin thinks this explanation misses the point . In his view, the brain doesn’t create  consciousness....it tunes into it , like a radio catching a broadcast. Consciousness isn’t a side effect of matter. It’s something deeper, something fundamental, woven into the universe itself. That’s why AI, no matter how complicated its circuits or clever its algorithms, won’t suddenly “wake up.” A radio without an antenna won’t play music, and a computer without a link to this universal consciousness won’t ever “feel.” Here’s where things get tricky but fascinating. Faggin connects consciousness to quantum physics ....the strange rules that govern the smallest particles in the universe. Don't worry, I'm not exactly a quantum expert myself....so I'll keep it chill. In the quantum world, particles can exist in multiple states at once (called superposition ), and distant particles can instantly affect each other ( entanglement ). It’s a reality that doesn’t behave like a predictable machine, but more like a web of possibilities. Faggin proposes something bold: consciousness is part of this quantum fabric. He introduces Information Quantum Objects (IQuOs) .... fundamental building blocks that combine two sides of reality : Physical side  → measurable information (like energy, particles, data). Subjective side  → the felt experience  (what it’s like to see red, to feel pain, to imagine). In other words, every IQuO is both matter and mind , united. So instead of the universe being “dead stuff” + some accidental consciousness, reality is fundamentally conscious at every level. Why AI Can’t Join the Party So where does this leave machines? AI is brilliant at processing information. It can recognize faces, write poems, even mimic human conversation. But it’s all pattern recognition, mathematical operations on symbols. But all of this is only the physical side ...just information-processing. There is no IQuO inside a machine , so there’s no “what it feels like” for the AI. Why? Because according to Faggin, consciousness requires IQuOs . And IQuOs aren’t something you can code into an algorithm or etch onto a microchip. They’re fundamental properties of the universe. AI, then, is like a mannequin: it may look lifelike and even move convincingly, but there’s no subject behind the eyes. It can simulate sadness, but it will never feel  it. So the big picture is.... Faggin sees consciousness as a fundamental ingredient of the universe itself....one that AI cannot replicate, because it lacks the very fabric (IQuOs) that make experience possible. Got it? Why This Matters If Faggin is right, then the big question isn’t “When will AI become conscious?” but... “Why do we keep assuming it can?” I understand, my Chat feels so human, so me. That's the key. He copies my own cringe way of communication and mimics. So now... I have a cringe Chat that uses the 🔥 emoji and calls me Girl. This has serious implications. If we treat machines as conscious, we risk confusing simulation with reality. We might even undervalue our own consciousness....the mysterious, irreducible spark that makes being human more than data processing. The real danger isn’t AI taking over with emotions, it’s us forgetting what emotions actually are. The irony is rich: the man who gave us the microprocessor, the foundation for today’s AI, now spends his life arguing that these machines will never be alive in the way we are. It’s not pessimism. It’s a reminder. Intelligence can be built. But consciousness...the vivid experience of being here, now...cannot be manufactured. That gift, Faggin suggests, belongs to us. Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. - Alan Watts

By Marianna Osipova. Richard Lynn, a British psychologist (1930–2023), was known for his highly controversial works on intelligence, race, and national wealth, including IQ and the Wealth of Nations , Race Differences in Intelligence , and IQ and Global Inequality . Throughout his career, Lynn concentrated on purported correlations between intelligence (as measured by IQ—Intelligence Quotient) and factors such as race, national wealth, and geography. He held the title of professor emeritus at Ulster University until it was revoked in 2018, and served as assistant editor of Mankind Quarterly , a journal criticized for promoting white supremacist ideologies. Lynn’s body of work invites the critical question: Was he a “racial realist”, as some of his supporters claim, or a proponent of scientific racism, advancing both racist and sexist views under the guise of academic inquiry? Many scholars argue the latter... Lynn’s research has been widely criticized as pseudoscientific and racially biased, with his conclusions often built on unreliable data and unfounded assumptions. For instance, in his publication Race Differences in Intelligence: A Global Perspective (1991), Lynn argued that cold climates and harsh winters were the primary drivers behind the evolution of populations with higher IQ scores. He suggested that the adaptive challenges of colder environments fostered greater intelligence, while populations from warmer regions, which he claimed exhibited lower intelligence, did not face such evolutionary pressures. This theory, however, was built on flawed and biased IQ measurements and has been repeatedly debunked through a range of scientific evidence and critiques (e.g., see this , this , and this ). Lynn’s climate-IQ hypothesis proposed a causal link between climate and both IQ and brain size, but this hypothesis collapses under scrutiny. It relies on the common logical fallacy that correlation implies causation, a principle routinely debunked in scientific research. CAUSATION ≠ CORRELATION While there may be correlations between climate and certain socioeconomic or educational outcomes, assuming a direct causal relationship between climate and intelligence is akin to absurd correlations, such as those popularized by Tyler Vigen (2015). For instance, Vigen humorously highlights correlations like "per capita cheese consumption" and "the number of people who died by becoming tangled in their bedsheets", or "letters in the winning word of the Scripps National Spelling Bee" and "the number of people killed by venomous spiders" (see figures below). Lynn’s climate-based theory fails to account for a wide range of confounding variables that more plausibly explain differences in IQ scores across populations. Intelligence is shaped by numerous factors, including individual development, access to education, socioeconomic conditions, and the historical context of regions, such as the impacts of colonization and governance. It is highly unlikely that a single variable like climate could fully explain differences in measured intelligence. To assert such a causal link oversimplifies a complex issue, ignoring the many cultural, environmental, and systemic factors that influence cognitive development and performance. While climate can indeed influence productivity and efficiency, it is a stretch to argue that it directly drives evolutionary changes in intelligence or brain size. As Singapore’s founding father, Lee Kuan Yew, observed, “Air conditioning was one of the signal inventions of history. It changed the nature of civilization by making development possible in the tropics” (Lee Kuan Yew, 2009), highlighting the role of technology, infrastructure, and human ingenuity in shaping development—factors that Lynn’s hypothesis largely overlooks. INFLUENCE AND SOCIAL PROOF IN THE ACADEMIC WORLD Beyond the scientific flaws in his theories, Lynn’s work is often categorized as academic racism, a form of discrimination that uses the authority of science to legitimize harmful ideologies. By manipulating data to support preconceived, ethnically prejudiced views, Lynn’s research not only perpetuated harmful stereotypes but also influenced a segment of the public to accept these views as scientifically valid. This exploitation of scientific authority demonstrates the dangers of conformity bias and social proof , where individuals are swayed by the appearance of credibility and popular opinion, leading to poor decision-making and groupthink . In essence, Richard Lynn’s body of work represents a troubling example of how pseudoscientific ideas can gain traction when cloaked in the language of academia. His theories, based on biased data and faulty reasoning, have been repeatedly refuted by rigorous scientific evidence. Whether viewed through the lens of his discriminatory beliefs or the broader context of scientific rigor, Lynn’s work falls short of the standards expected of credible academic inquiry. SO... QUESTION EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. Without doubt, beyond the academic discourse lie real human consequences. Lynn’s theories, which reduced individuals to data points, fueled stereotypes that shaped perceptions, opportunities, and lives. For many, his work wasn’t merely abstract theorizing—it impacted how entire populations were viewed and treated. This serves as a stark reminder that research is never just an intellectual exercise; it shapes how we understand each other, how we make decisions, and how we influence the trajectory of societies. When science is misused to dehumanize and distort, the harm it causes engrains for generations. Sources BBC. (2018). Ulster University withdraws status from Prof Richard Lynn. Retrieved from https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-43768132 Lee, K. (2015). Singapore’s founding father thought air conditioning was the secret to his country’s success. Vox. Retrieved from https://www.vox.com/2015/3/23/8278085/singapore-lee-kuan-yew-air-conditioning Lynn, R. (1991). Race differences in intelligence: A global perspective. Mankind quarterly, 31(3), 255-296. Vigen, T. (2015). Spurious Correlations. Tylervigen.com. Retrieved from http://tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

The Last Laugh: how the Joker ACTUALLY holds a mirror to ourselves The Joker: a man in purple, laughing maniacally as he hurls chaos into the world. A clown prince of crime, a cultural symbol, a riddle in face paint. But beyond the comic-book villainy and theatrical terror lies a disturbing truth about human pain. The Joker’s most profound contribution to culture is not his evil deeds or eccentric wardrobe, but the way he forces us to confront the uncomfortable truths about the fragility of our own sanity . The precariousness of our control , and the ever-present possibility that chaos could one day come for us, too. A Character Born from Chaos It’s tempting to write the Joker off as simply a criminal lunatic, a figure designed to embody disorder. He is, after all, a figurehead of chaos: a man without a moral compass, whose guiding philosophy is destruction for destruction’s sake. But the appeal of the Joker goes deeper than anarchy. He is chaos incarnate because chaos is one of humanity’s greatest fears. Biologically, our brains crave order because predictability reduces stress. Chaos triggers the amygdala , which handles fear, signaling potential danger. This is why characters like the Joker, who embody unpredictability, are so unsettling both on a psychological and biological level. Violating the sacred social contracts we cling to for safety, we see the embodiment of what happens when society breaks down, when the structures of civility are stripped away and the raw, primal elements of human nature are laid bare. The Joker fully embodies Jung’s shadow self , the dark, repressed side of the psyche that most people keep hidden. By embracing his shadow, he becomes a mirror for society’s darkest impulses The Joker, in a way, represents a reverse of Nietzsche’s Übermensch ...instead of transcending conventional morality to create new values, he destroys all values, finding freedom not in creating meaning but in obliterating it . His is a dark form of liberation: the freedom that comes from anarchy and nihilism, rather than creation and self-overcoming. He also reflects the existential abyss explored by the philosopher in Thus Spoke Zarathustra . Nietzsche’s declaration that “God is dead” e choes through the Joker’s worldview, where meaning and morality are no longer fixed constructs. If there is no divine order, the Joker suggests, why not embrace chaos? He becomes the living embodiment of Nietzsche’s Dionysian philosophy ...reveling in destruction and ecstatic disorder, fully aware of the absurdity of existence! You know I think is actually absurd? His charm. That is able to have so much charm, despite being a REAL madman. A unique, witty charisma. He is captivating, seductive to many, scary to others. Pain: The Universal Bond At the heart of the Joker’s story is pain... emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical . In various iterations, his origins are explored, from a failed comedian to a victim of disfigurement. But these stories all share a common theme: the Joker is someone who was broken by pain and responded by embracing madness . This is where things get uncomfortably close to home. Everyone, at some point, experiences suffering. It’s part of the human experience...grief, rejection, failure, loss. The Joker represents the person who chooses to deal with this by leaning into the pain and letting it consume them. He is what happens when pain is allowed to fester without resolution or healing . He mocks the idea of overcoming trauma or finding meaning in suffering. In his world, pain is a black hole that swallows everything. This brings to mind Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Notes from Underground , in which the unnamed narrator, consumed by existential despair, rejects societal norms and instead embraces bitterness and self-destruction. Like the Joker, Dostoevsky’s narrator sees suffering as inevitable and mocks the human desire to overcome it through reason or meaning . In both figures, we see an exploration of the darker sides of human psychology : the allure of surrendering to despair and using it as a weapon against the world. Why do some people E N J O Y pain? Suffering? The Joker finds identity and satisfaction in his own suffering, turning pain into a twisted badge of honor. This masochistic egotism   allows him to derive pride from his endurance and resilience in the face of a society that scorns him. By embracing his suffering, he separates himself from society's norms and views himself as “enlightened,” mocking others who seek comfort or happiness. The Joker embodies the Dark Triad   of personality traits: Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism . His manipulation of those around him, lack of empathy, and disregard for consequences reveal a psyche that thrives on chaos and control. The Joker isn’t just causing chaos for its own sake. In modern cinema, a similar portrayal of pain can be found in Todd Phillips’ Joker  (2019), where Arthur Fleck’s descent into madness is framed by his isolation, poverty, and trauma. This version of the Joker is an explicit meditation on mental illness and the failure of society to address it. Fleck’s transformation from a downtrodden man to a symbol of anarchy is a chilling reminder of how easily unprocessed pain can turn into something destructive , not just for the individual but for society at large. Let's think of kids turning to actions like school shootings... The Joker's Laughter: Madness as Liberation? One of the Joker’s most iconic traits is his laughter, but it’s a laughter that is devoid of joy. Instead, it’s a release—a coping mechanism for the absurdity and cruelty of the world . In some ways, his laughter is a form of liberation. He has no desire for redemption because he rejects the very idea that life should be orderly or meaningful. This rejection is where the Joker becomes a philosophical figure. Friedrich Nietzsche, in his work The Birth of Tragedy , argued that humanity constantly oscillates between two forces: the Apollonian (order, logic, reason) and the Dionysian (chaos, emotion, ecstasy). The Joker is the ultimate Dionysian figure, rejecting the Apollonian comforts of reason and plunging headfirst into chaos. In his world, nothing matters except for the raw, visceral experience of life itself, unfiltered by the artificial constructs of meaning we impose on it. But the Joker’s laughter also echoes the existential absurdity explored by writers like Albert Camus in The Myth of Sisyphus . Camus famously wrote that "one must imagine Sisyphus happy" as he pushes his rock up the hill for eternity, embracing the absurdity of life. Whereas Camus suggests we can find a sort of defiant joy in life’s meaninglessness, the Joker chooses destruction. His laughter, then, becomes a hollow version of this existential struggle...a refusal to find joy in absurdity and instead revealing in annihilation. The Thin Line Between Us and the Joker One of the most unsettling things about the Joker is how easily he could be any of us. Batman’s famous line, “All it takes is one bad day,” speaks to a frightening truth: the line between sanity and madness is often thinner than we’d like to admit. We are all, in some ways, fragile creatures, holding ourselves together with routines, relationships, and a sense of purpose. But when those things break down...whether through trauma, loss, or personal failure...what’s left? In this sense, the Joker is the ultimate tragic figure, a Shakespearean fool who dances on the edge of sanity and drags others along with him. His madness is not unlike King Lear’s descent into insanity, driven by betrayal, grief, and the collapse of his world. But while Lear ultimately finds a form of redemption in his suffering, the Joker never does. He is the embodiment of what happens when redemption is not possible, when suffering leads only to deeper and more destructive madness. Moreover, the Joker reminds us of the duality of man, a theme explored by Robert Louis Stevenson in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde . The Joker, like Hyde, is a manifestation of the darker side of the human psyche, the part that is unleashed when societal rules and personal morality no longer apply. Yet, unlike Jekyll, who seeks to suppress his darker nature, the Joker embraces it fully. It seems like this character is really not a shallow comic idea right? Even Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment  offers a precursor to the Joker’s worldview. Raskolnikov, like the Joker, believes he is above moral law and capable of transcending society’s rules. While Raskolnikov ultimately finds a form of redemption through suffering, the Joker rejects this path entirely, reveling in his role as an agent of chaos. His philosophy is clear: there is no redemption, only destruction. And that's a trembling truth that makes all so fascinated with this character. Conclusion: The Joker's Uncomfortable Truth While the Joker chooses to let his pain turn him into an agent of chaos, he also reminds us of our own capacity for both resilience and destruction. In his madness, we see the possibility of what could happen if we allow ourselves to be consumed by suffering. But in rejecting his worldview, we also reaffirm our own commitment to find meaning, even in a world that often seems indifferent to our struggles. But here’s where things get even more unsettling: Does the Joker's philosophy help explain why so many people are driven to commit terrible acts in real life? From cases of family annihilation to serial killers who seem to take pleasure in causing suffering, are these individuals acting out a version of the Joker’s nihilism? Are they, like him, people whose pain has morphed into madness, whose despair has turned into destruction? Could it be that, for some, the chaos inside becomes too much to bear, and they surrender to it, just as the Joker does? In a world where mental health crises and societal pressures continue to mount, it’s a haunting thought to consider. When people feel as if they have no control, no hope, and no way to find meaning in their suffering, do they, like the Joker, decide to embrace the chaos and inflict pain on others? It’s an uncomfortable question, but one worth asking: Does the Joker’s twisted worldview give us a glimpse into why some people, in the darkest moments of their lives, cross that thin line between sanity and madness, and commit acts of terrible violence? And if so, what can we as a society do to ensure that more people don’t fall into this abyss? The Joker, after all, isn’t just a comic book character. He’s a mirror, reflecting back the darkest parts of the human psyche, forcing us to confront what we fear most: that anyone, given the right circumstances, could become a symbol of chaos. If you think this is interesting, and you have 10 more mins here is a psychological diagnosis of the Joker: Here is a 20 minutes analysis in case you are REALLY into psychology and dark minds like his:

10 years. If you're 24, imagine going back to when you were 14, and everything you've lived since then, all of it... didn’t exist. sorry? 10 years. A decade spent on your phone, numb? Because that’s what the phone does, and why we love it. It allows us to escape. To numb our thoughts. To not feel so much, or maybe to feel something , finally. When we're on our phones, we laugh, we read, we chat...We even fall in love with people (sometimes… just by watching a video on our feed… but let’s not talk about that). We need our phones. It's as simple as that. Humanity can’t and won’t go back. But we do dream of love stories without DMs. A look on the bus with a stranger that turns into an exchange of smiles, then into something more. Yet in reality, we post a story on IG, craving validation from strangers. We post, then scroll. 1 hour. 2 hours. 4 hours. Oh no. It happened again????? It’s 1am. I really should sleep. 1:30am. Damn it!!!! Why? I wish there was an answer. But why don’t we care? 4 hours a day means a decade will simply... vanish ??? How marvellous of us. There is nothing more precious to our fragile humanity than time . Nothing more sacred, and yet, nothing that can become vain more easily in the digital world. "I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. "William Shakespeare, Richard II But also, we create our own time. And yet, it's the one thing we can never control. That's so tough... "Time is a created thing. To say 'I don’t have time' is like saying 'I don’t want to." 'Lao Tzu (attributed) Cmon Lucio said it in " De brevitate vitae" like a million years ago, and here we are?! ( 49 AD ) Lucio Anneo Seneca, the Latin philosopher, said life isn't short...we just make it short by filling it with occupationes . Not necessarily bad things (fun, work, love) but the silent, invisible moments in between… they add up. The videos we watch while waiting for the bus. The posts we make during concerts. The sunrise we see… through our camera app. Then comes guilt. Do we feel it? No. Not really. It’s not guilt. It’s numbness . And numbness is worse than guilt. Because guilt can wake you up . Numbness keeps you still . The helplessness isn’t just in how addicted we are. It’s in how addicted we’re willing to stay . How we've accepted that this is the future. Digital. Fast. Filtered. Fleeting. But let’s be honest. The phone isn’t the problem. It ’s a tool. A mirror. An amplifier. Sure, it nudges you. It’s full of traps. Hooks (HOOK MODEL, YES!). Notifications. Infinite scrolls designed to keep you there. But it's not the enemy. Our mind is. Why don’t we care more? Why? And maybe that’s the hardest truth. We know. We know  it’s eating away at us. We know  we’re trading silence for static, presence for pixels. And still, we scroll. Because unlike other addictions, this one isn’t hidden. It ’s celebrated. Branded. Monetised. Rewarded. And the worst part? You’re not even doing something bad. You’re laughing. You’re catching up. You’re staying “informed.”You’re “relaxing.” You’re just existing in the modern world. But time doesn’t care if it’s wasted beautifully or tragically. It passes just the same. And so a decade slips through the cracks. Not with a bang, but with a soft click. A flick of the thumb. "You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." Charles Buxton So maybe it’s not about deleting apps. Not a digital detox. Not switching to a flip phone or escaping to a forest. Maybe it starts with noticing. Not just how many hours you spend, but how you feel  after them. Not just what you saw, but what you missed . The faces you didn’t look at. The thoughts you didn’t think. The conversations that never happened. The silence you avoided. And yet... here we are. Half-present in every moment. AirPods in. Notifications on. Eyes glazed. Bodies in rooms, but minds somewhere else. Everywhere, and nowhere. What scares me isn’t how much time we lose. WELL THAT TOO (10 YEARS, REALLY?) nice. It’s how normal  it feels. The disconnection. The sleep-deprived eyes. The quiet panic when the WiFi’s down (or not so quiet). The way we reach for our phones the second there’s a gap in...conversation, in the elevator, at red lights, in bed. Even in joy. Even in grief???? We have stopped sitting with ourselves (I always think I couldn't do what old people do, just SIT in bench? like staring at what?) Stopped listening. Stopped feeling the weight of being alive ... because there’s always a feed to numb that. "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." Blaise Pascal We are so afraid of silence. Because silence reveals things. The dreams we’ve delayed. The loneliness we’ve masked with filtered photos and well-timed likes. The phone keeps it all away (and our shows too?) Until it doesn’t. Until you look up and realize you don’t remember the last year. Not really. Just flashes. Just fragments. (Maybe those of which you have photos of and you see when you scroll you camera on the plane?) A hundred blurry snapshots of a life half-lived. You weren’t born to scroll. You weren’t born to consume an endless stream of other people’s lives while yours waits quietly in the background, hoping to be noticed . So no. This isn’t a guilt trip. This is a gentle alarm. Not to wake you up. But to ask: Are you okay with trading off 4h per day for a decade? And when is the last time you were truly awake?

They were all legal once. People followed orders and made them happen. Why? And why does it happen now? To begin addressing why seemingly good or 'normal' people ignore mass murder and genocide worldwide, or blindly follow orders that make them happen (like point a gun at a child), we must first reflect on the words of Primo Levi, an Italian Jewish writer and Auschwitz survivor. In his seminal memoir, If This is a Man (1947), Levi writes: “Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous. The most dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act without asking questions.” This insight gets to the heart of a troubling phenomenon: ordinary people, not the few malevolent leaders, are often complicit in atrocities by simply following orders or remaining passive. This issue speaks to the core of the nature vs. nurture debate. Are people innately predisposed to evil, or are they molded by their environment? Dispositionism suggests that human behavior is largely driven by internal characteristics. Yet, historical examples like the Holocaust and other genocides challenge this, highlighting how external forces—social, political, and cultural—can have an overwhelming influence on human actions. Even if we possess a stable disposition, as the theory of Homo Psychologicus suggests, the environment plays a critical role in shaping our actions. Eugenics, for example, a theory embraced by the Nazis, sought to manipulate biological factors to justify mass extermination. It serves as a reminder of the dangers inherent in biological determinism. Genocides throughout history, from the Armenian genocide, the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide, to what is happening today, underscore that humans are not born with an innate immunity to committing evil. Rather, as Hannah Arendt observed in Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil, evil often arises from a failure to think critically. She famously remarked that Adolf Eichmann, one of the architects of the Holocaust, was not an overt villain, but rather a thoughtless bureaucrat. His "sheer thoughtlessness," according to Arendt, was not stupidity but an inability to reflect on the moral implications of his actions. This absence of critical reflection is far more dangerous than outright malevolence. A man is father himself. He has a family he loves, and children he would die to protect. Yet, he is killing some's daughter or son, without blinking an eye. He understands the debilitating pain of losing a child, of even the thought of never seeing your baby again, yet he is mindlessly shooting. Why? Levi's and Arendt's observations help explain how even people who are loving parents, dutiful citizens, and seemingly moral individuals can become complicit in mass murder. It is not that they are innately evil but that they fail to question the systems and authority figures that perpetuate such violence. Levi further remarks, "There is no Auschwitz without the world; there is no Auschwitz without us." In this haunting statement, he implicates not just the perpetrators but the bystanders—the entire world—as complicit in these crimes. Human indifference to mass murder, therefore, is not a simple matter of inherent cruelty, but of acquiescence ( acceptance without protest ), fear, and conformity. The work of psychologist Stanley Milgram sheds light on this dynamic. His famous experiment demonstrated how ordinary individuals, under the influence of authority, were willing to inflict severe pain on another person simply because they were ordered to do so. Milgram’s study reveals how susceptible we are to surrendering moral responsibility when under the sway of authority, mirroring the behavior of countless people during genocidal regimes. This lack of critical thinking, coupled with an overreliance on obedience, has dire consequences, and should be discussed more. Moreover, we cannot talk about this topic without diving into one of its core sad pillars: the concept of dehumanization, which plays a central role in facilitating atrocities. As Levi noted, the Nazis systematically reduced Jews to mere numbers, stripping them of their humanity. People become animals, they become monsters, they become the absolute enemy. They are not people, they don't have a heart and soul, their tears becoming meaningless and their laughter becomes inaudible. Dehumanization is a psychological tool that enables individuals to view their victims as something even less than human, and it has been a recurring theme in genocides throughout history. It allows soldiers to shoot unarmed civilians, torturers to inflict unspeakable pain, and neighbors to turn on neighbors. How can you kill thousands if you think they are humans, just like you? The 1914 Christmas Truce during World War I offers a powerful counterexample to this dehumanization: when soldiers from both sides met in no-man's land to share food, play football, and bury their dead, they recognized their shared humanity, and for a brief moment in history, refused to kill one another again. Yet, even when people are not ordered to commit atrocities directly, passivity becomes another form of complicity. The bystander effect , a well-documented psychological phenomenon, reveals that in situations of crisis, individuals often fail to act, assuming someone else will intervene. This diffusion of responsibility, coupled with fear and self-preservation, can explain why people turn a blind eye to genocide and mass murder. But as Levi and Arendt both insist, this passivity implicates us all. The concept of in-group and out-group dynamics further helps explain how societies can facilitate atrocities like genocide. Social psychologists have long understood that humans are wired to categorize others into 'us' and 'them'. We do it all the time. Our football team and 'them', for example. Plus, we view members of an out-group as being more similar to each other than they actually are, often stereotyping them as one homogeneous entity. Do you see how dangerous this can be, if put in the context of something like war? "They are all the same, they are all evil, they are all terrorists, they all hate us... etc". And this instinct can be exacerbated by nationalist propaganda, economic disparities, and political instability. Social Identity Theory   (Tajfel & Turner, 1986)  offers insights into how in-group and out-group dynamics contribute to genocidal violence. Perpetrators often dehumanize the out-group, making it easier to justify violence, which is facilitated by propaganda and power structures, similar to what was observed in the Stanford Prison Experiment . In Asch’s conformity experiments , we see how easily people conform to the group, even when they know the group is wrong. This behavior underpins much of the rationale for why ordinary citizens support genocidal policies or fail to speak out against them. The tragedy of human behavior lies not only in our capacity for cruelty but in our ability to rationalize indifference and evade accountability. When there is no clear system of accountability, people are more likely to act out of selfishness or simply follow orders. Lack of accountability allows genocide to flourish, as we saw in the Rwandan genocide, where the international community largely failed to intervene. Today, as we reflect on the atrocities of the past, we must also confront those happening in the present. Palestine serves as a stark reminder that the forces of dehumanization, obedience, and passivity are still at play. As with past genocides, the world watches from their homes, from a little window called phone, which makes it all dystopian. People choose the battles they want to look at. Chose which articles to click, which news to scroll past and try to remove suffering that does not belong to their own hearts from their minds. They chose the suffering in the world they care to read about, to talk about, to fight for. Political, economic, and nationalistic interests have easily overshadowed the moral imperative to act and to even care. Moreover, social and psychological factors like fear, propaganda, and collective reasoning can cause people to abandon their values and lose their sense of moral responsibility. Here there is a little more theory that can help you have a more grounded picture: Solomon Asch's experiments on conformity show how easily people trust the collective and play along, even in situations as simple as identifying the length of a line. This tendency to conform and follow the group contributes to many things we do, including atrocities and systematic destruction. Realistic Conflict Theory   (Sherif, 1966) explains how competition for resources, such as land or power, often escalates into intergroup conflict, providing a framework to understand genocides motivated by territorial or political gain. The ongoing violence in Palestine, for example, reflects these dynamics, where the struggle over land and sovereignty has resulted in systematic oppression and displacement. The international community’s failure to act is also influenced by Groupthink  (Janis, 1972), where the desire for consensus and conformity overrides moral judgment . This phenomenon often leads to inaction or silence on the global stage, as seen during the Rwandan genocide or the current situation in Palestine. The Just-World Hypothesis  (Lerner, 1980) further complicates this, as people rationalize suffering by believing that victims must somehow deserve their fate. In conclusion, several psychological and social theories—such as dehumanization (Bandura), situational power dynamics (Zimbardo), and the bystander effect (Latané & Darley)—help explain why ordinary people, and the global community, remain indifferent to mass murder and genocide. These forces, when coupled with in-group favoritism (Tajfel & Turner), resource conflict (Sherif), and collective rationalization (Janis), create an environment where atrocities are allowed to unfold. The ongoing genocide in Palestine is a sobering reminder that these dynamics are still at play, fueled by dehumanization, political propaganda, and international passivity. But people still fail to understand the danger of our own ignorance and the power of our mind in determining not what is right (everyone will tell you killing children is simply evil, no?), but they will fail to recognise how the media works, for instance, in showing them "News" or the manipulation and biases behind titles of such news they rapidly scroll through... and as they form their opinions based on them, they didn't even take one minute to click on the article and read it all. This is part of the paradox of humanity. Our biases make us vulnerable yet make us feel invincible in our righteousness. "Why? What is so wonderful about mass murder that nobody in the history of the world has ever found any smarter solution to problems than killing everybody who doesn’t agree? Is that the limit of human intelligence?" — Richard Bach Here is a summary you should read. It takes one minute but it is key. This model, based on the work of Gregory Stanton and Ervin Staub , emphasizes the incremental nature of genocide and serves as a crucial warning. It underscores that genocide doesn't happen overnight—it follows a clear pattern of escalating hate, dehumanization, and violence. The final step, denial, points to how perpetrators often try to erase or obscure their crimes. It’s a reminder that addressing these early warning signs is vital to prevent escalation into full-scale atrocities. Plus, by controlling what you see and hear, media can either alert society to the dangers ahead or, conversely, facilitate the gradual acceptance of atrocities. To read more about the media's role, read our article "Polarizing Your Mind".

Ever caught yourself thinking... “Why hasn’t he texted me back? Did I say something wrong? Maybe I’m just not good enough…” “Relationships are fine, but I need my space. I don’t see why everyone has to be so clingy.” “I hate that I need them so much, but what if they leave? How do I stop being so terrified?” “I want to be close, but every time I try, I feel like running away. Why can’t I just be normal?” If any of these thoughts sound familiar, you might wanna hear this... These are the echoes of attachment styles that guide us—sometimes subtly, sometimes forcefully—through our relationships. Welcome to Attachment Theory , a psychological framework that offers a powerful lens for understanding why we connect, avoid, fear, or cling to others in the ways that we do. Let’s decode these thoughts and see where they fit within the four primary attachment styles. The Four Attachment Styles: Which One Are You? Secure : Low anxiety, low avoidance—comfortable with intimacy and independence. Anxious : High anxiety, low avoidance—craves closeness but fears rejection. Avoidant : Low anxiety, high avoidance—values independence and avoids intimacy. Fearful : High anxiety, high avoidance—wants connection but is afraid of it. 1. Secure Attahment: “I’m okay with who I am, and I’m okay with who you are”. Thoughts: “I enjoy spending time with my partner, but I also like my independence. I trust that they care about me, even when we're apart.” What it means : You have a balanced approach to relationships. You're comfortable with intimacy but also value your independence. You’re generally at ease with closeness and know how to communicate effectively, making you a reliable and supportive partner. If this sounds like you, congratulations—you’ve got a solid foundation for healthy relationships! 2. Anxious Attachment: “Why aren’t they texting back? What if they don’t like me anymore?” Thoughts: “I’m always the one who cares more in relationships. I feel anxious when I don’t get a response right away. What if they’re losing interest?” What it means : You crave closeness and validation, but you often worry that you’re more invested than the other person. You might find yourself overthinking, constantly seeking reassurance, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed when faced with uncertainty. Does this hit home? This means you might have an anxious attachment style, always looking for signs of rejection or withdrawal, even when they might not be there. 3. Avoidant Attachment: “I don’t need anyone, and I’d rather not deal with the drama”. Thoughts: “Why does everyone expect so much from me? I like being in a relationship, but I need my space. People get too needy.” What it means : You value independence and often feel uncomfortable with too much closeness or emotional demands. You might prefer to keep things casual or distance yourself when you sense someone getting too close. If this feels like your inner dialogue, you might have an avoidant attachment style. You keep your guard up, even when you want to connect. 4. Disorganized Attachment: “I want to be close, but I’m scared. Why can’t I just feel safe?” Thoughts: “I want to love and be loved, but as soon as I start to feel close to someone, I panic. I don’t know if I can trust them, but I don’t want to be alone either.” What it means : Your emotions around relationships are often intense and conflicting. You might find yourself caught between the desire for closeness and a fear of getting hurt, leading to unpredictable or erratic behavior. Sound like a mix of both anxious and avoidant tendencies? You may have a disorganized attachment style, often rooted in past trauma or inconsistent caregiving experiences. So, What Exactly Is Attachment Theory? Now that you've glimpsed into your own attachment patterns, let’s dive into what they mean. Attachment Theory , first developed by psychologist John Bowlby in the mid-20th century and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth through her famous "Strange Situation" experiments, explores how the bonds we form with our caregivers in childhood shape the way we connect with others in adulthood. Bowlby proposed that the need for attachment was biologically embedded, rooted in evolutionary survival mechanisms. Simply put, children who stayed close to a caregiver had a better chance of surviving dangers, and thus, attachment behaviors became a key part of human development. Ainsworth's observational research, particularly her identification of the "secure," "avoidant," and "anxious-resistant" attachment styles, provided empirical backing for Bowlby's theories and opened the door for decades of further research into how these early bonds influence our adult lives. Why Your Attachment Style Matters Understanding your attachment style is like holding a mirror to your relationships. It explains why you might pull away when things get too serious, why you feel a rush of anxiety when your partner doesn’t respond, or why you tend to attract the same types of partners over and over again. It’s the ‘why’ behind the push and pull, the clinging, the withdrawing, and the fears that surface when you start to care about someone. But here’s the good news: Attachment styles aren’t a life sentence . They’re dynamic, and they can change over time with self-awareness, effort, and sometimes a little bit of therapy. Read our other article "Opposites Attract… But Do They Last? Navigating Attachment Style in Relationships" about how to deal with this when you get into a relationship (as this is when it gets DIFFICULT)... Moving Towards a Healthier Attachment Style If you identified as Anxious : Practice self-soothing techniques when you feel triggered. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that a delayed text doesn’t mean rejection. Work on building self-esteem outside of relationships. If you identified as Avoidant : Challenge yourself to lean into intimacy instead of withdrawing. It’s okay to need others, and vulnerability isn’t a weakness. Try to communicate your needs rather than shutting down. If you identified as Disorganized : It’s essential to work through past trauma, possibly with a therapist who specializes in attachment issues. Recognize that your fear and longing are both valid and deserve compassionate attention. If you’re Secure : Keep doing what you’re doing! Stay open, communicative, and aware of your needs and your partner's. The Academic Angle: How Attachment Theory Has Shaped Modern Psychology Researchers have found that individuals with secure attachment styles often exhibit better mental health outcomes, greater emotional regulation, and more resilience in facing life's challenges. In recent years, neuropsychological studies have even shown that attachment styles are reflected in brain activity. For example, securely attached individuals tend to have higher levels of oxytocin , often called the "love hormone," which fosters bonding and trust. This emerging evidence suggests that attachment isn’t just an abstract concept—it’s a deeply ingrained, biologically-rooted part of who we are. Final Thoughts: Your Attachment Style Isn’t Set in Stone Identifying your attachment style is just the beginning. The real power comes in understanding how it influences your relationships and taking conscious steps to change patterns that no longer serve you. By becoming more aware of your thoughts and reactions, you can start to rewrite the script and create healthier, more fulfilling connections. So, the next time you catch yourself anxiously waiting for a reply or feeling the urge to pull away, pause. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it’s just your attachment style talking. And the more you understand it, the more power you have to shape the way you connect with the world around you. After all, you’re not just a product of your past—you’re an evolving story, capable of growth, healing, and rewriting your relationship narrative.

Have you ever wondered why you are drawn to your crushes, or why your relationships sometimes feel like a never-ending cycle of mixed signals and misunderstandings? It might have less to do with personality differences and more with something deeper: your attachment styles. If you have ever thought: “Why do I always end up feeling like I’m chasing after them?” “Why can’t they respect my need for space?” “Why do I feel trapped when they’re around, but anxious when they’re distant?” Then you have encountered the reality of how attachment styles can shape and, at times, complicate our relationships. Let’s break down how different attachment styles interact, which pairings can be the most challenging, and how to navigate these differences in a way that fosters growth and understanding. A Quick Refresher on Attachment Styles Before diving into how these styles interact, let’s recap the four primary attachment styles (we have an article on this if you want to learn more (you should): Secure : Comfortable with intimacy and independence; has a balanced view of self and others. Anxious : Craves closeness, often worries about rejection or abandonment. Avoidant : Values independence, uncomfortable with emotional closeness. Fearful (Disorganized) : Desires connection but is wary of intimacy, often due to past trauma or inconsistent caregiving. When Attachment Styles Meet: How Different Pairings Play Out 1. Secure + Anxious: A Potential for Stability Interaction : The secure partner can provide the reassurance and consistency that the anxious partner often seeks. This creates a relatively balanced dynamic where the secure partner’s calm presence helps ease the anxious partner’s fears. Challenges : If the secure partner isn’t aware of the anxious partner’s need for reassurance, they may find their behaviors overbearing, while the anxious partner might misinterpret the secure partner’s independence as disinterest. How to Improve : Open communication about needs and expectations is crucial. The anxious partner should work on developing self-soothing skills, while the secure partner can learn to be more affirming. Verdict: Generally Positive.  This pairing offers growth opportunities for the anxious partner and usually maintains stability. 2. Secure + Avoidant: Building Trust Gradually Interaction : The secure partner’s patience and understanding can help the avoidant partner feel comfortable with intimacy over time. The secure partner respects the avoidant partner’s need for space, preventing them from feeling overwhelmed. Challenges : The avoidant partner’s tendency to withdraw can sometimes leave the secure partner feeling disconnected or unappreciated, especially if the secure partner is looking for more emotional engagement. How to Improve : The avoidant partner can work on gradually sharing more of their feelings, while the secure partner should continue offering a non-judgmental, supportive presence. Verdict: Requires Time and Patience.  With mutual effort, this pairing can evolve into a trusting, balanced relationship. 3. Anxious + Avoidant: A Dynamic of Contradictions Interaction : This is often one of the most challenging pairings. The anxious partner seeks constant closeness, while the avoidant partner is more comfortable with distance, leading to a cycle of pursuit and withdrawal. Challenges : The anxious partner feels unfulfilled and rejected, while the avoidant partner feels pressured and trapped, which can escalate into conflict and frustration. How to Improve : Both partners need to understand each other’s triggers and motivations. The anxious partner should focus on building self-assurance, while the avoidant partner should make an effort to be more emotionally available. Verdict: Complex and Demanding.  It requires a high level of commitment and self-awareness from both partners to make this work. 4. Anxious + Anxious: Intensity Meets Intensity Interaction : This pairing can lead to a strong initial bond due to a shared desire for closeness, but it can also be marked by frequent bouts of insecurity and anxiety. Both partners may become overly reliant on each other for reassurance. Challenges : Because both partners are prone to worrying about rejection, the relationship can become overly focused on addressing fears rather than building a solid foundation of trust. How to Improve : Each partner needs to work on developing their self-esteem and managing their anxiety independently, rather than relying solely on the relationship for validation. Verdict: Emotionally Intense.  This pairing can thrive if both partners commit to personal growth and self-regulation. 5. Avoidant + Avoidant: Maintaining Distance Interaction : Both partners value independence, which can lead to a relationship that’s free from pressure or expectations. However, this often results in a lack of emotional depth and connection. Challenges : Without effort to foster intimacy, the relationship can become emotionally stagnant or distant, lacking the warmth and closeness that many people desire in a partnership. How to Improve : Both partners need to make a conscious effort to share their emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable. Small steps towards vulnerability can gradually build a deeper connection. Verdict: Detached but Stable.  This relationship can work if both partners recognize the importance of emotional engagement. 6. Fearful (Disorganized) + Any Style: Navigating Uncertainty Interaction : Fearful individuals often experience conflicting desires for closeness and distance, which can be confusing for their partner, regardless of the partner’s attachment style. Challenges : This inconsistency can be destabilizing, making it difficult for both partners to establish a secure connection. The fearful partner might oscillate between seeking intimacy and pushing it away. How to Improve : Professional guidance, such as therapy, can be crucial in helping the fearful partner address past trauma and develop healthier attachment patterns. The partner needs to be patient, offering steady support without taking the fearful partner’s behavior personally. Verdict: Requires Support and Understanding.  This pairing has potential if approached with empathy and a willingness to address deeper issues. Strengthening Attachment Style Interactions in Relationships: Evidence-Based Strategies Navigating attachment styles within relationships isn’t just about surface-level compatibility; it involves understanding how deeply ingrained patterns influence emotional dynamics. Decades of research have shown that while attachment styles can be relatively stable over time, they’re also capable of evolving, especially within the context of a committed relationship or therapeutic intervention. Here’s how you can cultivate healthier attachment dynamics based on scientific findings: Deepen Self-Awareness Academic Insight : Research from Mikulincer and Shaver (2007) suggests that individuals with a higher level of self-awareness regarding their attachment style tend to have more adaptive coping mechanisms in relationships. By acknowledging how your past experiences have shaped your current behaviors, you become more capable of breaking unhelpful patterns. Enhance Communication Practical Tip : Practice using "I" statements to express your emotions, such as, "I feel anxious when we don’t communicate because I worry about being abandoned," rather than blaming your partner. This fosters a safer environment for both partners to share their vulnerabilities, allowing deeper emotional connections to form. Practice Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation Academic Insight : Attachment theorists like Allan Schore (1994) have highlighted the concept of "co-regulation," where partners help each other manage emotional states, especially during times of stress. This is particularly important for anxious and avoidant individuals, who often struggle with internal regulation. Practical Tip : When conflict arises, rather than withdrawing or escalating, try engaging in grounding exercises together, such as deep breathing or even taking a moment to physically hold hands. This helps in stabilizing each other’s emotional state, reducing the likelihood of an attachment-triggered overreaction. Develop “Attachment-Based Mindfulness” Practices Academic Insight : A study by Pepping et al. (2013) found that mindfulness is associated with greater attachment security and relationship satisfaction. Mindfulness helps individuals become more attuned to their partner’s emotional needs while reducing the impulsivity that often accompanies anxious or avoidant behaviors. Redefine Boundaries and Independence in Secure Terms Academic Insight : Research by Fraley and Davis (1997) emphasizes that securely attached individuals are comfortable with both intimacy and autonomy. For those in anxious-avoidant pairings, finding a balance between closeness and independence can reduce friction. Practical Tip : Create a structured plan where both partners can regularly spend time apart engaging in activities that foster individual growth, such as pursuing hobbies, attending social events independently, or investing in personal development. This can help avoidant partners feel respected in their need for space, while anxious partners learn to derive self-worth outside of the relationship. Seek Professional Support with an Attachment-Informed Approach Academic Insight : Studies like those conducted by Johnson et al. (2005) show that therapy specifically targeting attachment issues can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and help partners transition towards a more secure attachment style. This suggests that couples with contrasting attachment styles benefit from professional guidance to navigate their differences. Practical Tip : If conflicts persist or attachment-related behaviors are causing significant distress, consider seeking therapy with a professional trained in attachment theory or emotionally focused therapy. This approach can help both partners develop more secure ways of relating, even if their attachment history is complex. Learn and Practice “Earned Security” Academic Insight : Main and Goldwyn’s (1985) concept of "earned secure attachment" demonstrates that individuals who began life with insecure attachment styles can develop secure attachment patterns over time, often through positive, affirming adult relationships or therapeutic experiences. Practical Tip : Focus on building consistent, trust-based experiences within your relationship. Celebrate small victories, such as resolving a disagreement calmly or being vulnerable with each other. These incremental positive experiences can rewire your attachment responses, helping you or your partner transition toward a more secure style over time. Integrate the Concept of “Attachment Flexibility” Academic Insight : Research by Gillath, Shaver, and Mikulincer (2005) suggests that attachment styles are not fixed but can be flexible in response to changing contexts and relationships. This flexibility allows individuals to adapt to their partner’s needs, even if their natural inclination is different. Practical Tip : Pay attention to moments when your partner’s attachment behaviors shift—maybe they’re more anxious during a stressful week at work or more avoidant when overwhelmed by family obligations. Responding with empathy and adjusting your expectations during these times fosters a more adaptable and resilient connection. Explore Attachment History Together Academic Insight : Studies by Simpson and Rholes (2012) highlight that understanding the origins of your partner's attachment style can improve empathy and patience in the relationship. Couples who openly discuss their early attachment experiences tend to be more supportive and understanding of each other’s triggers and needs. Practical Tip : Have a conversation where you explore how your early experiences with caregivers might influence your current attachment style. This kind of vulnerability can strengthen your bond and reduce misunderstandings, as both partners gain insight into each other’s emotional landscapes. Final Thought: Moving Toward a Secure Base The path to building a healthier attachment dynamic in your relationship isn’t about forcing yourself or your partner to change overnight. Instead, it’s about creating a safe, supportive environment where both partners feel understood, respected, and valued. As research repeatedly shows, the more you understand your own attachment patterns and the more effort you put into creating secure, positive interactions, the more likely it is that your relationship will flourish, regardless of your starting point. By incorporating these academically grounded insights and practical strategies, you’re not just addressing your attachment style; you’re actively shaping a relationship that can grow, adapt, and ultimately thrive.

Hello again, it seems that you want to learn more on how to improve. Nice. Maybe you and your partner (or just you if you are single, yet rightfully curious) should take a test to see which style you are... in case you are unable to identify yourself. In case you need... Click here to find one. Or here for another one. You need to recognise both yours and your partner's style if you want to stop accusing yourself or them about something that might stem from their attachment instead of just a "personality fault". They are sooooo needy.. . well, why? And, if I care, how do I fix this? Okay, let's start. While attachment theory is rooted in psychological research, improving your relationship doesn’t have to feel like therapy. It’s about recognizing your partner’s behaviors, understanding what they mean, and responding in ways that strengthen your connection. Here’s how you can effectively navigate attachment style dynamics with actionable, easy strategies: Pay Attention to How Your Partner Expresses Needing Space or Closeness What to Look For : Notice how your partner reacts during stressful moments. Does the avoidant partner seem to withdraw or become preoccupied with work when stressed? Does the anxious partner start reaching out more frequently or become more demanding of your attention? Concrete Tip : For avoidant partners, rather than pushing for immediate engagement, say something like, “I see you need some time right now, but I’m here when you’re ready.” For anxious partners, offer brief, consistent check-ins, like texting “Thinking of you” or “I’m here if you need me.” This shows them you’re present without overwhelming them. Respond to Emotional Bids—Even When They Seem Small What to Look For : According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, partners frequently make “bids” for attention, connection, or affirmation. This could be as simple as a comment about their day or a request to watch a show together. Identify and Adapt to Their Comfort Zones in Conflict What to Look For : How does your partner typically handle conflict? Avoidant partners often need more time to process before discussing issues, while anxious partners might want immediate resolution. Concrete Tip : If your partner is avoidant, agree on a time to revisit the discussion later, such as, “Let’s take a break and talk about this tonight.” This respects their need for space while ensuring the issue isn’t dismissed. For anxious partners, let them know that you’re committed to resolving the issue by saying, “I hear you, and I want to understand. Let’s talk it through.” Understand Your Partner’s Preferred Way of Showing and Receiving Affection What to Look For : Observe whether your partner expresses affection through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, or gift-giving. Their attachment style often influences this. Concrete Tip : Adapt to their love language, especially during moments of stress or insecurity. For an avoidant partner, showing affection through acts of service (e.g., doing something thoughtful without expecting reciprocation) might feel less intrusive than constant verbal affirmations. An anxious partner might need more verbal reassurance, so make an effort to vocalize appreciation regularly, such as, “I really appreciate having you in my life.” Watch for Patterns in How They Respond to Positivity What to Look For : Notice how your partner reacts to positive experiences or compliments. Avoidant partners may downplay praise, while anxious partners might crave more acknowledgment. Concrete Tip : For avoidant partners, celebrate achievements or positive moments in a way that respects their modesty, such as leaving a congratulatory note instead of making a big fuss. For anxious partners, don’t hesitate to be more vocal about your appreciation—reinforce positive traits often, so they feel secure in the relationship. Create a Predictable Routine Around Communication What to Look For : Does your partner become anxious when communication feels inconsistent? Or does your avoidant partner prefer to communicate more sporadically? Concrete Tip : Establish a rhythm that works for both of you. This could be a consistent “good morning” and “good night” message or checking in at a regular time daily. Consistency helps anxious partners feel secure without overwhelming avoidant partners who may prefer structured, predictable interactions. Pay Attention to Their Reaction to Physical Closeness What to Look For : Does your partner seem uncomfortable with physical affection at certain times, or do they crave it more when feeling vulnerable? Avoidant partners might lean away when they feel overwhelmed, while anxious partners may seek more physical reassurance. Concrete Tip : If your partner pulls away, avoid taking it personally. Instead, give them space while letting them know you’re available for connection later. For anxious partners, initiating affectionate touch, like a gentle hand squeeze or hug, can provide a sense of safety. Recognize Their Stress Signals and Respond Calmly What to Look For : An anxious partner may become more talkative or express worry, while an avoidant partner might go silent or distract themselves with other activities. Concrete Tip : When your partner is stressed, tailor your approach. For an anxious partner, offer empathy and listen without trying to “fix” everything. You could say, “I understand that this is tough, and I’m here for you.” For an avoidant partner, give them space but quietly offer support, like preparing their favorite meal or simply being present without demanding conversation. Encourage Them to Pursue Their Own Interests and Independence What to Look For : Observe whether your partner has activities they enjoy independently. Avoidant partners often value this, while anxious partners may struggle with solo activities. Concrete Tip : Respect and encourage their need for individual interests. For avoidant partners, express genuine curiosity about their hobbies without pushing them to include you. For anxious partners, gently encourage them to engage in activities on their own, reinforcing that you’ll still be there when they return, which helps them build confidence outside the relationship. Focus on Celebrating Small Wins Together What to Look For : How does your partner react to shared successes or milestones? Avoidant partners might brush them off, while anxious partners often need affirmation. Concrete Tip : Create a habit of acknowledging even minor accomplishments, such as successfully resolving a disagreement or having a fun day together. For avoidant partners, keep these acknowledgments low-key, like saying, “I really enjoyed spending time with you today.” For anxious partners, be more expressive and detailed in your appreciation. Final Thought Improving your relationship based on attachment styles doesn’t mean trying to change your partner or turning every interaction into an emotional analysis. Instead, it’s about being observant, adjusting your approach to better support them, and gradually building a relationship that feels secure for both of you. By focusing on how you respond to your partner’s behaviors—whether that’s giving them space, offering consistent reassurance, or showing affection in ways they value—you’re not just working around their attachment style; you’re actively nurturing a stronger, more resilient connection. Remember, relationships thrive on small, consistent actions. It’s not about grand gestures or only deep therapy sessions (which can help too!) ; it’s about understanding and responding to your partner’s needs in everyday moments, showing them that you see them, hear them, and value them for who they are. Last...Explore Attachment History Together Academic Insight : Studies by Simpson and Rholes (2012) highlight that understanding the origins of your partner's attachment style can improve empathy and patience in the relationship. Couples who openly discuss their early attachment experiences tend to be more supportive and understanding of each other’s triggers and needs. Practical Tip : Have a conversation where you explore how your early experiences with caregivers might influence your current attachment style. This kind of vulnerability can strengthen your bond and reduce misunderstandings, as both partners gain insight into each other’s emotional landscapes.

Do you know that rush you feel when you post and you just know (how much validation you are going to get when so) many people will like your story or like your post? That’s dopamine in action—the brain’s pleasure chemical. But here is the kicker: dopamine isn’t about satisfaction—it’s about anticipation . Think of dopamine like the gas pedal of your brain's reward system. It pushes you to chase, to pursue, to want more. But once you get the thing you were craving? The hit doesn’t last. THE "ALMOST THERE" FEELING Dopamine is not the chemical of happiness—it’s the chemical of wanting . It is the drive that pushes you to keep searching for the next big thing, but it never actually lets you rest in the reward. Imagine the feeling of scrolling through Instagram: you are not enjoying  each post, you are just waiting for something to really grab you. It’s why after a binge session on TikTok, you don’t feel satisfied—you feel kind of empty. You were chasing that next hit of novelty, but it never quite delivered what you hoped. Dopamine keeps you in a state of constant pursuit , always seeking, never settling. THE SOCIAL MEDIA "CASINO" Social media is like a slot machine for your brain . You pull the lever (scroll) hoping for a reward (a funny meme, a viral post, a heartwarming story). The dopamine release comes from the anticipation  of finding something good. It’s variable, unpredictable—sometimes you win, most times you don’t—but that uncertainty is what makes it addictive. Each scroll, each refresh is like placing a bet. Maybe the next one will be a winner. But even when it is, the satisfaction is fleeting, and you’re back to chasing that next reward. It's engineered this way—platforms know that keeping you in this loop boosts engagement and keeps you hooked. OH, DOPAMINE ... thank you but ... YOU CAN BE A B**** Dopamine isn’t your enemy—it is the reason you are motivated to achieve, learn, and explore. But in today’s digital world, it’s also what keeps us addicted to the endless cycle of mindless consumption. Here’s the irony: dopamine doesn’t care if the reward is meaningful or fulfilling. It responds the same way whether you are chasing a career milestone or refreshing your IG feed for the 20th time in an hour looking for a new video on your celeb crush. Well...The result? We are already NEVER happy of what we already have... imagine how negative this is for our greedy human mind!!! This is why mindlessly consuming content or obsessing over notifications can leave us feeling drained instead of happy. Our brains are wired to seek out stimulation, but in the end, the dopamine-driven chase leaves us with a gnawing sense that something  is still missing. So... Dopamine is like a friend who promises you’ll have the best night of your life if you just come to one more  party. You go, it’s fun for a bit, but the thrill doesn’t last. Then, your friend says, “Wait, the next party will be even better ”. And there you go... In our world of infinite choices—endless content, endless products, endless distractions, we’re never staying in the moment to enjoy what’s in front of us. To me, that's so miserable... let's all agree to do something about it, please, for our own sake.